Feeling Like Spilling Your Guts to the Narcissist?

Phoenix Rising

Oil on canvas

(Reposted with permission from The Narcissist Continuum: http://n-continuum.blogspot.com/ Originally posted 12/09/11)

Are you reading self-help books telling you to spill your guts and Save Your Relationship?
Keep your self-examination PRIVATE. Do not tell your spouse. Do not send him or her a letter of apology, listing your many flaws and faults. Many of us make that mistake before learning about pathological narcissism. There is a huge distinction between normal narcissism and pathological and one of the differences is introspection. When people who naturally introspect realize they have contributed to problems in the relationship, they take responsibility for themselves and alter their behavior.
In a normal relationship, both people recognize their ‘shadow side’: the things we do unconsciously that disturb us and confuse a partner. We see it and we change it and we grow as a result. We assume our relationship with a narcissist works the…

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